15 Pitiful Presents to Avoid This Christmas
Oh, you <em>shouldn't</em> have! ...No, really. You <em>shouldn't have</em>. Handing out any of these gifts this holiday season is bound to bring a lot of awkward "Thank you's" and wasted money.
These should never be wrapped in a package and opened by anybody. They're only meant to be worn as a joke or for an ugly sweater-themed party. Note the word "UGLY!" (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
Scratch Tickets or Lottery Tickets
The reason any kind of gambling is never a good gift is because the odds are very high that it will amount to absolutely nothing. If you win it's the best present ever, though. (Photo by Steve Finn/Getty Images)
Cooking Lessons (or lessons of any kind)
Now if the person <em>asks</em> for lessons it's a different story. But giving unsolicited lessons as a "gift" to your loved ones just doesn't send the right signal. All it says is "Here, learn to (insert activity here) because you surely can't teach yourself!" (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Frigidaire)
At least an 8-track player or record player would evoke some glorious nostalgia for some...But a VCR is just useless AND boring. Even DVDs might be obsolete soon, VHS tapes barely even EXIST anymore. (Photo by Ian Waldie/Getty Images)
Just look at this dog's face. He's saying "Help! My owners suck!" It's easy to drape stupid-looking sweaters over them because they can't stop you. Don't torture them with ugly outfits; it's a more subtle form of animal cruelty. (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)
Your own reindeer
Believe it or not, reindeer are overrated. They'll just poop everywhere and make a mess of your home. And they only fly for Santa - you'd be lucky to get Donner and Blitzen to lift a hoof off the ground. (Photo credit should read JONATHAN NACKSTRAND/AFP/Getty Images)
If your goal is to make your family look like a bunch of weirdo creeps, then perhaps the Snuggie is the perfect family gift. But really, don't let this fad continue by purchasing this glorified generic blanket. (Photo credit should read STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images)
Group this along with any household cleaning item. There's little in the world that's less exciting to receive as a gift than something that helps you do MORE work. Especially if it's cleaning up after you. (Photo by Bruno Vincent/Getty Images)
We all know the scene from <em>A Christmas Story</em>. It still applies today, to all ages. No sane person wants to dress in an easter bunny suit on Christmas - or perhaps at any other time? (Photo credit should read PHILIPP GUELLAND/AFP/Getty Images)
Gift Card to Circuit City
This would be about as useful as a kick to the face. All you could do with it is file it along with your gift cards to Blockbuster and Borders. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Take it out randomly at a Christmas party and it's a fun little moment with a friend or co-worker. Give it to someone as a gift and it crosses the creepy line. Especially if you're just walking around with it. You're best off not bothering! (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)
Do people still use these things? In an age where everyone owns a cell phone and e-mail address, is there a legitimate need for a fax machine in any workplace, home office or gift-wrapped box? The answer to all three is "No." (Photo by Chris Hondros/Getty Images)
Seriously, why are these things ever kept as house plants? You can't touch them, they don't smell like anything, and they don't look cool enough to make up for the first two. So where does the fun part come in? Hint: It never does.
The same crappy gift they got the year before
Ah, the ancient art of re-gifting. Some have mastered it; you should not. The only thing worse than giving a crappy gift is giving a crappy gift that was clearly already crapped in your lap, especially if the recipient finds out! Do everyone a favor and go out and get something original.
I guess we still kinda sorta send letters sometimes, for various reasons. But really, is there a need to open envelopes with clean cuts every single time? Thing's just a dull knife masquerading as some kind of useful tool. Not like a butter knife or scissors couldn't accomplish the same thing. Plus, if you think your recipient really needs one, they probably already have one. So please just don't bother and get them a bottle of wine or something.
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