On Wednesday night, 41-year-old John Allison of Potsdam, New York went to a grocery store and grabbed a large STICK OF PEPPERONI.
Then he allegedly unzipped his pants, whipped it out, and rubbed HIS stick on the pepperoni stick. Then he put the pepperoni back on the shelf.
The pepperoni WAS wrapped, so there was NOT genital-on-meat contact . . . but it’s still very, very unsanitary.
A security guard watched the entire thing go down on a surveillance camera. John was arrested for public lewdness and criminal mischief. The grocery store threw out the pepperoni.