Senseless Surveys are the most popular bit here at WZLX. It’s when morning show host Kevin Karlson calls an unsuspecting person and tries to keep them on the line as long as possible, asking the most vile, random and inappropriate questions he can think of.
This year’s batch of Surveys brought us tons of laughs that included confused callers, premature hang-ups, and the occasional “May I please speak to your manager?”
Now, we take a look back at the most-listened to Senseless Surveys of the 2012 calendar year. Did your favorite make the cut?
12. Are You Hard Of Hearing Ma’am?
Air date: Thursday, July 26
Summary: Do you think hell is a place where they make you eat all the baby wipes you used as an adult? What’s more depressing: shopping at TJ-Maxx or not having clothes?
11. Which Of Your Kids Are You Least Ashamed Of?
Air date: Wednesday, May 23
Summary: Kevin Karlson starts with easy questions like “Do you know your water usage by gallons for the day?” and progresses to more difficult ones like “Do you ever worry that you’re the creepy uncle?
10. Wing Dings & Being Day-Drunk
Air date: Friday, May 18
Summary: Kevin asks more stupid questions such as “What is your definition of a Wing Ding?” and “Would you accept medical advice from a man in a sombrero?”
9. Can I Call You My Boo?
Air date: Tuesday, July 10
Summary: Ever fill an hourglass with mayonnaise just to make time go by more slowly? This guy doesn’t, and he was baffled by Kevin’s senseless questions.
8. The Body That Clogs The Potty
Air date: Wednesday, July 25
Summary: Should there be birth control for men, since it makes more sense to unload a gun than shoot at a bulletproof vest? And what if women had apostrophes instead of periods? This victim was not pleased by this edition of the Senseless Survey…
7. College Degrees, Vegetarians & Casual Sex
Air date: Tuesday, September 11
Summary: If vegetarians are right and we shouldn’t eat cows, then why are they made out of food?
6. Throwing Stars, Fat-Blocking Sodas & Dentist Fingers
Air date: Friday, November 30
Summary: In this edition of the Senseless Survey, Kevin reveals to the caller a new fat-blocking soda called “tap water,” and the idea of cutting up old CDs into throwing stars since all music is going digital.
5. We Go Abroad & Call London!
Air date: Friday, October 26
Summary: Kevin gets to twelve questions with a feisty English lady! Instead of the fake hillbilly teeth we have in the U.S., do you have fake mouths full of white teeth? Do you call Starbucks “Starpounds?”
4. Day-Drinking, Dog-Watching & Pranking The Pizza Guy
Air date: Wednesday, October 10
Summary: This prank victim gets so agitated that he asks to speak to Kevin’s manager, and after being put on hold 4 times he finally hangs up.
3. Captain Cuddlepants
Air date: Thursday, June 28
Summary: Have you ever had to remind permanent markers that nothing lasts forever? Do you prefer to cry over spilled milk or laugh over regurgitated vodka? That’s just a sampler of today’s ridiculous questions asked to one Captain Cuddlepants.
2. Did You Experiment With College During Sex?
Air date: Monday, May 21
Summary: Which of the following best describes you: Metrosexual? Citysexual? Suburbansexual? Or ghettosexual? Do you think all the talk about Rocky Mountain Oysters is just a load of bull?
1. Lance Armstrong, Goldfish & Honey Boo Boo
Air date: Wednesday, September 12
Summary: At first the caller was skeptical (rightly so), but finally agreed to answer Senseless Survey questions…it was the worst decision of her life.
Andrew Celani — WZLX.com