12 Things We Learned From The MBTA Last Week

Matt Dolloff / 100.7 WZLX

In a new weekly series on WZLX.com, we examine the many crazy things we see on the MBTA all the time – and the life lessons we take from it.

Thanksgiving week provided travelers with all of the usual characteristics of an infuriating commute on the MBTA, plus several added surprises. They did release its mobile ticketing app for smartphone owners just in time for hectic holiday travel, but of course it didn’t affect the lines for paper tickets, or anywhere on the T for that matter.

The MBTA always teaches us new things, but Thanksgiving weekend always brings it to another level. Here are 12 things we learned from the T last week:

If you give MBTA workers one job to do, they will do their absolute best to screw it up as spectacularly as possible.

The MBTA is insecure about its own infrastructure, which is why you only see this vehicle in the middle of the night.

T drivers are apparently trained to spot differences between blind people and those who are just faking their blindness.

There’s only one way to explain the MBTA actually running its trains on time: Magic.

The real home of the MBTA isn’t Boston, but outer space.

If you time it perfectly, you can completely out-walk a bus on its route.

Listening to music on the T makes all the stops just blend together.

The MBTA has a dedicated sabotage squad for every commuter, designed to make them as late as possible.

The Orange Line will stop at nothing to ensure every car is spotless.

It’s not exhaust fogging up the T…Every underground station pumps in a “complacency gas” to make you less upset with your rides.

For many people, Hell is an MBTA train that never arrives on time, has any open seats, or functions properly.

MBTA trains never break…They just double as saunas.

What did you learn from the MBTA this past week? Share your stories in the comments section below.


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